Partly, because, though I'm sick, I have still been going to work. I know, I shouldn't, and I almost took yesterday off, but a co-worker had a seizure at work and I would've felt like an ass, wanting to go home early!
And also, partly because I'm going through some issues with Hanzo.
I swore I would never get a cat. The cat Hubby had when we met was a nice cat, but he smelled and was pushy and we never bonded. I just never felt like you could bond with a cat like you can with a dog. Then I met Hanzo (then, his name was Rikki Tikki Tavi...had to change that!). He was surrendered with his 'sister', who almost immediately was put down when they found she had some sort of stomach cancer. He was the sweetest thing ever...always purring, very lovey, and de-clawed, both front and back. I would never get a cat de-clawed, but it was a selling point for me, after seeing how Hubby's cat had ruined our landlord's sofa. I was sad that he had been surrendered AND lost his sister all in the same day...so offered to adopt him.
Even after having him, and loving him, and just thinking how dog-like he was...I still never thought I could have that bond.
But here we are, after bloodwork, x-rays, ultrasound, urinalysis...facing some difficult decisions. He started antibiotics for a possible infection, but then I got a call from the Dr. saying, after they sent the x-rays to radiology for a closer look at the 'fuzziness' in his lungs, that there is a mass in his lung.
Today, I'm taking him to work with me for a more indepth ultrasound so see if another dr. may be able to aspirate the lung mass to see exactly what it is. Chemo is a possiblilty, but we won't do that. And, we're definitely not doing surgery to get a piece of the lung. Most likely we will start him on steroids today, which will also get his appetite going again. But I figure we have a couple months...and, surprisingly...it's hitting me harder than I thought it would...
Sorry, for the downer for the day...had to get it out.
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