Here's what I've been thinking today:
I have a lot of things I think I want to do. Yet, I find myself never doing anything. I feel like I know myself and I know what makes me happy and what does not.
Having a schedule/routine...this makes me happy. So why am I letting myself get away without having a schedule? Where's the plan? What's next?
I love doing crafts. I love looking at the finished product, whatever it is, and thinking, 'wow! I made that!' But lately I haven't been making anything. I need to take back my 'me time' and really use it. I have been sitting by waiting for my dream work week of 3 days off, and using it as an excuse to get nothing done. 'oh, well, I'll have more time when I get that extra day off. I'll just take care of that then.' But that day never comes, and things don't get done.
I am not a house cleaner, but I don't like a 'dirty' house. So I do what needs to be done to keep the house 'clean' but not in the condition where I wouldn't be mortified if someone dropped by unexpected. I am trying to be better at this.
I have worked in kitchens and with food for most of my jobs, and I truly enjoy being in the kitchen, chopping veg, searing meat, assembling casseroles. Yet, I don't make dinner on a regular basis. I am trying to be better at this.
I LOVE working out. I love how it makes me feel, and I love that it is something GOOD only I can do for myself. It is a magic potion that always makes me feel better, no matter how bad my day was or how exhausted I am afterwards. But I haven't been allowing myself this pleasure as often as I would like. I am trying to be better at this.
Now, I'm not a social person and I rarely say 'hey, let's hang out' to anyone. And I don't think this is something that I need to change. It's who I am. I would like to manage my time better, however, so that I can do all the things that are important to me, make it to my job so that the bills get paid, but not feel like I have to give something up should I feel particularly social from time to time.
I spent several hours with my sister playing Rock Band the other day. It was the most fun I have had in a long time. We got to be silly after a long day at work and that is NEVER a bad thing.
I don't like having to work to pay the bills, but I have to say, I really enjoy living my life. And that is why I need to really focus on what that means to me. I know what I like...I just have to figure out how to put it all together.
And that's what I'm gonna do!