I woke up this morning thinking about this blog. And the post from yesterday. And how each post seems to veer farther from my original intentions for this blog.
I seem to be falling into my old patterns from my MySpace days where my blog was used simply as a way to let off steam. Why would anyone want to read about my problems at work? Sometimes I need to let them go, and it certainly helps me to move on; but, I am sure the only people who really care to hear about it (or pretend to care) are living in this house. And it is only that they can't talk back that they are forced to just listen...and presumably can't understand a word I say anyway, since they are not human.
This blog was really supposed to be about creativity. How I would juggle a less than thrilling job, caring for our home and pets, staying healthy by working out, and trying be creative and make things, all the while keeping my stress of having one regular income in check...these are the things I was hoping to chronicle. But without all the whining.
And I was also hoping to find time in there to find other interesting people/places/things to pass on to others. But who has time for all of this??
I have not been feeling creative at all, lately. I had an idea for a stencil I wanted to do (the bamboo stencil) but it took me about a week to finally get my act together to draw and cut the stencil. I mean, a project that in real time took about 20 minutes, was drawn out to a week. And I haven't even printed it yet! But that comes today.
I don't get a lot of feedback with my crafts as I am basically alone here. Hubby has his stuff he is doing, and he is supportive of my things, but he doesn't get 'jazzed' about my crafts. I do have a sister who I spoke to yesterday, however, and with just a few words, she had me excited about my stuff again. I told her about the stencil and all she said was, 'oh, cool, I want to see it when it's done. I might want to buy one.' Of course, I am going to print one for her to have...she's my sister! But it was the little boost I think I needed. I asked for extra time off months ago. Stating to my boss that I was trying to get my little business off the ground. No one else is going to care about this as much as I do, so that leaves me to have to fight for what I need to make it work.
So, now I am going to try to get back on track. Work is for money to pay bills. My 'down time' is for me. And my stress about work needs to be kept under control if I am going to have any sort of creativity to work with!