Today's post includes some graphic pictures. Very embarrassing pictures. It is a story that needs to be told due to it's hilarity, but I'm warning you...if you have had enough of girls in tight jeans...look away!
Here's the story:
As with every morning I work at Trader Joe's, I got in to work at 5 a.m. and put product up shelves for a couple hours until the guy in charge, this morning, asked me to start cleaning the floors. This means going around and sweeping and then washing the floors. We have a machine, called the Zamboni, which is a great help in washing the floors. You fill it with water, it has a spinning scrubbing underneath and a squeegee at the back. As you push it across the floor, water comes out, the spinning brush cleans, and the squeegee pulls away the excess water (think window washers). It's great. But ours is broken. We are waiting for a battery. So, in the meantime, it's mop and bucket for us. Well, it's not that big of a deal, I'm a pretty good mopper, and I don't mind it.
This morning I went to the task of filling the mop buckets. That is when it happened. The hose was in the bucket, water was coming out, but as I let go, the water presser got stronger and the hose flew out of the bucket! I grabbed it as it hit my leg, but I couldn't think fast enough to hold it away from my ...well...my self. I was soaked in a way that I can only describe as a child who is recently out of diapers. This happened to me before!! But last time, it hit me up top, and finding a dry shirt is a lot easier than a pair of pants!!
I stopped my boss as she came back to get something from where I was, and said, 'I think I have a pair of scrub pants in my car...' She of course said that I could go look...but they weren't there!! I went back inside (this whole time, in soaking wet pants) and told her I didn't have them. I honestly didn't know what I could do. I thought, maybe I could go to the discount shop next door and hope they had sweatpants or something...P.J's even! She said, 'there's a pair of jeans in the break room. I don't know who they belong, because they've been there forever, and no one has claimed them.' I went to look, praying that they had belonged to one of the 'bigger girls' or one of the guys. I held them up and thought...'nope'....but I tried them anyway.
It took a lot of struggling...they were button fly, and from the very first one, to the SIXTH and final button, I thought each one would be the last I could fasten. Some how I managed to get all those buttons buttoned. I could barely walk at first and I felt ridiculous! There were jokes all day of course. By the end of my shift, my pants were still a little wet, so I wore the jeans home. I could barely lift my leg up to sit in the seat of my car!
Luckily, I was at my register for most of the day.
Here come the pictures, so look away, if you have a weak stomach. These were actually nice Ralph Lauren Polo jeans. If they had fit better, I might have kept them!! There was no size, or any tag at all actually, inside. I don't know what size they were, but they were smaller than the size I should be wearing!!
Here they come...
last chance to close this page...
Ready?...
Okay, here goes...
As you can see, from the side...not too bad, but WOW! did those suckers suck my ass in!!
But, oh dear!! Show us your Underalls, indeed!! Every step felt odd...so tight!!
But, oh dear!! Show us your Underalls, indeed!! Every step felt odd...so tight!!
I thought, 'well, maybe my shirt was long enough to make them a little less obvious...
Well, I'm sure the ribbing at work will go on for some time, but thank goodness I got to take those things off when I got home!!
Wowie! That *is* embarrassing! Better than wearing wet pants all day, though. I don't think they look as bad as you may think, either.
ReplyDeleteNot too shabby, shows how much you have lost and been working out. Though, I think I'd send them to the 'rag bag' or back to Joe's. How many 'nice a** comments did you get? Any proposals? You are on your way to Vegas, you could always switch husbands last minute, right? Though not sure Hubby would like that idea!
ReplyDeleteLOL They aren't too bad --aren't you glad you have done so well on your diet?? - I had that happen a few times at the restaurant - luckily we had a ton of aprons to hide mishaps. Once though, I was reaching on top of this really tall fridge we had (we had this one girl who REFUSED to put the top back on anything!) Well, I was reaching way above my head to get some french fry bags but the olive oil was in my way. I pulled the olive oil down - and you guessed it- the girl who hated tops had apparently used the olive oil the night before. It went all over my head, shirt, pants, and all over my right arm! I had to go home and change clothes that day! I was furious with her - but my arm was really soft for about a week!
ReplyDeletewell...i WAS surprised to get into the jeans, but I washed them and put them right back on top of the lockers at work (for the next time I make a mess?)
ReplyDeleteAngela...that's disgusting!! i can't even IMAGINE being covered in olive oil. I feel so bad for you for that!! i think i might have just poured some oil right over that girl next time i saw her!!